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Really Deep Thoughts

(what's so amazing about really deep thoughts?)

2 October
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I love music! Can't live without it!
Especially Apocalyptica!

I'm quiet, somewhat shy, and live a lot in my dreams, but always have a soundtrack going in the background of my mind.
I've recently started writing fiction, and I love it, too. It's become an addiction. I'm happiest when I'm at the computer, typing out a story, with Apocalyptica playing in the background. Reading in bed with the headphones on, playing Apocalyptica, comes in a close second!

I'm in the U.S., but I'm a European at heart. I recently travelled to Finland, and fell in love with it. I want to go again - in the summer this time. I love to travel, and can't wait until my son is old enough to go with us.

I have wonderful kids - my daughter and I are thisclose, and my son is a delight! Being a mom is probably the only thing I have done successfully that I am proud of.

I have a touch of obssessive/compulsive disorder. Turns out because I am so emotional all the time, it's my way to gaining "control" over my life. And I have a "colour fetish." Colour is very important to me, and things mustn't clash.

I don't understand when someone only sees Red, Blue, and Yellow - when I see rose, blush, sunset, spring leaf, light rain, summer sky, caribbean ocean, overcast day, etc. I don't understand when people don't appreciate music and only hear noise, when certain refrains can make me sad, joyful, nostalgic, renewed, or even funky. I don't understand when some people see jumbles of letters on the page when I see words; words that can put together a whole new world for me to escape in, and teach me, and make me feel all my emotions. I don't understand when people don't appreciate smells, or don't have a certain whiff of something bring them back in time. I am far too sensitive for my own good.

And I can tolerate chaos in noise, colour, and emotions - but not for long. I start to feel anxious and depressed. I need to be alone for periods of time to regenerate. And I need things peaceful around me, like nature. I think that's why Finland appeals to me so.